If we wish stop yelling at our children The first guideline is to discover what situations are the ones that most commonly cause screaming. And one of them is undoubtedly dangerous situations.
When are in danger it's almost impossible not to screamIn fact, the most natural scream is that it avoids a real and great danger, for that the cry is born. That scream is almost impossible to eliminate completely, because it is instinctive and serves to alert the danger and the child to stop. It is natural and we should not get confused when valuing it. Sometimes it is even necessary.
Shout in dangerous situations
To really respond to its function should be something totally exceptional. In fact, if we use it too much, it loses its raison d'être and we accustom the child not to attend to us.
Always it is preferable to gently stop the dangerous action and do it while being physically present, but, the reality is that there may be situations in which you are too far away to stop the child and the voice makes you arrive.
A child who is going to cross a street running can be stopped with a shout, a child who puts his fingers in a plug or has been strained in the kitchen looking out to the fire, a child who will jump from a place too high or that He looks out the window taking out his whole body, he is at vital risk and nobody can reproach himself for shouting at that moment. What makes no sense is to punish, because the child needs to understand real and direct consequences, not a penalty.
Guilt for not avoiding danger
Another thing is that we then know how to calm down and not explode in an avalanche of reproaches or insulting comments. That if we should never do it.
Also, if we had a horrible scare and felt that our son was in mortal danger, we feel overwhelmed and above all guilty for not having been more attentive or not having been good enough parents to educate the child in their self-care.
Attention with this. We must keep that guilt that makes us so angry with ourselves and that runaways us. Without reproaching yourself or the child, you avoided the danger and now solve the one that does not repeat itself. Analyze the risks and look for ways to avoid them.
Prevent the dangers
As much as possible and adapting it to the child's age, when we are calm, we must explain the reasons why this behavior was so dangerous. Without terrorizing him or making him feel bad, we need to inform him that this could have dire consequences.
It is essential to help them assimilate the need for these basic safety standards, which, in the end, he will adopt in his behavior. And the screams don't teach that.
As soon as the child is of age to understand our indications, we can also do it as a co-participant by making a list of basic safety rules together. Among them we can include the one who knows how to use the telephone to ask for help in case of emergency and clear instructions so that, if something happened to us, he knew how to ask for help. This sometimes frightens them, but we must not seek to be afraid, but they know how to help us if, for example, we get dizzy, especially if we spend times that the child is home alone with only one adult.
The best tool, is the prevention, avoid having potentially deadly or poisonous things within reach. And let's keep in mind that most of the accidents children suffer happen at home, so we will work thoroughly to make our house a safe place.
Home Hazard Prevention Exercise
Do one thing. It is a practical task. Very concrete. Performing it helps us to avoid future risk situations and it also helps us regain balance by being proactive.
Take paper and pen. Make a map of your schematic house. Point out possible sources of real risk on paper. Do that the first day.
The following days go through the rooms of your house and analyze how many dangers are in each one that can be directly accessible to the child and which are possible, and the consequences of each if they happen. Make a list for each room, write it all down and then look for solutions to each of them. Pay special attention to the kitchen.
If there is no solution, point out what you can do to minimize them. Eliminate dangerous superfluous objects that may be within your reach and introduce security measures In the inevitable.
If the task overwhelms you, make a room a day, involve your partner. Spend about 15 minutes maximum to each room. Do it in writing, imagine yourself as a NASA engineer solving possible failures.
The problem is that our houses, despite being quite safe, do have many elements and are so overwhelmed by the abundance of objects that We perceive many dangers. We must assess which ones are real.
Keep sharp objects or glass in places inaccessible to children, eliminate the possibility of the child moving a piece of furniture that could approach a window, put safety locks, close the keys of the videt, not having any class Toxic, medications or cleaning products in any room, are very important safety measures.
Performing this task will help you avoid the dangers, improve the safety of your child and also, as an indirect result, will make that inevitable reason for screaming to be minimized.
