Get up early To work. Stop for a while to eat. Work again outside or inside or maybe, outside and inside the house. Babysit. Go shopping. Organize the next day of the family, meals, clothes, activities, medical appointments if any. Diner. Sleep. Start again.
That we should take our lives with a little more peace of mind we know it even if we don't manage to do it even if we try but worse, in the end that lack of peace, That stress or that excess of self-demand do we get to transmit to our own children? Do we demand too much in the upbringing to put our happiness at risk? Sometimes I think it could be that yes, that we were unconsciously doing it.
The "end of the world" in parenting
A few days ago, reading the February issue of the magazine "ELLE" on paper, I could not control the laugh with the page signed by Manuel Jabois and not because I told any joke, but because I described my own reality with a lot of aim. I saw her reflected in his.
He "Findelmundismo" it's the concept that coins Manuel Jabois on this page to define situations that should happen without sorrow or glory but that distress our lives, he defines it as "restarting the planet every time he forgot (his grandfather) to buy bread in the supermarket." We each have our "end of worldism" although now we all shake our heads.
That cup of breakfast that falls on the pants just put ...
That moment in which we get to prepare some spaghetti and there is no ...
Those moments in which hysteria wins us by the hand in which, as Jabois says, "the nuance disappears."
He then talks about love and politics, if you can read him do it, I kept thinking about motherhood, parenting, the importance we give to moments that really don't have it. We are in a hurry disguised as hysteria because yes, I also believe like Manuel Jabois that our tolerance level has dropped, so in general and in education, living together, raising our children too.
The imperfect beauty of happiness
We win a self-demand that we have imposed ... or that we have allowed ourselves to impose? This is what another author talks about, in this case he is not a journalist but a doctor of psychology, his name is Walter Riso, was born in Italy but lives in Barcelona and these days is presenting his latest book "Wonderfully Imperfect, Scandalously Happy."
You can find it on Amazon if you dare to read it.
He has written dozens of books before this that have been translated into dozens of languages, has spent more than thirty years working as a clinical psychologist and arises from his experience, the need for eliminate the useless suffering that has created in society, in people, this culture of obsessive perfectionism.
I have not read the book and not for lack of desire but I have read what it is and I think that (hence my desire) He is very right and I return to the same thing, if we apply it to the raising of our children, to our day to day with them to our expectations of that artificial perfectionism in which we have installed or allowed ourselves to be installed.
Does it make us happy to never climb the stairs at all?
Is it so hard for us to assume and accept ourselves as we really are?
It is inevitable that deep down we will transfer that to our children, even if they only face it from our behavior, we never cease to be their example.
I can't forget that maxim that says that “Your children don't always listen to you but they always see you”. It would be good, it would be healthy for them and for us to learn to be wonderfully happy with our imperfections.
Imperfections? Why?
Also, imperfections ... who do you say has decided they are? We can call them peculiarities or characteristics, we can take away any pejorative component, any negative aspect, we can love ourselves as we are and teach our children with our example. Let us put aside the "end of the world" that is generated in us by those expectations that we know, if we stop to think only a minute, which are completely unattainable.
I don't say we don't dream, I don't say we don't have intentions, goals, purposes... I say that if I measure a meter eighty I can never be a synchronized gymnast, to give a very silly example, or if my hair is straight and fine, I will never have a look like Beyoncée's hair as far as hair is concerned. who pawns me or who wants me to pawn (Personally and economically, let's not forget that detail) or my son may not be a football Pele even if the skin is left in every game, to the point that he stops playing and enjoying ...
In the end, if we don't do it for ours, let's do it for yours, because we should care much more about his imperfect but true happiness beyond the "end of the world" that surrounds us Don't you think
Photos | iStockphoto
In Babies and More | The tyranny of the perfect family | The 12 things that are disgusting at home because of the children | A father records what he does in the afternoon with his son when mom is not at home (and she loves it)
