When you hear about stories of mothers who have been "invited" to cover themselves or directly kicked out of a place for breastfeeding in public, you think: "they are isolated cases, I have breastfed in hundreds of places and nothing has ever happened to me ". But unfortunately it is something that is still happening, and you can also be one of them. One day passes by and you feel pointed out, discriminated against and humiliated by something as normal and natural as feeding or comforting your baby.
It is what has happened to María José Marín Cano few days ago while I visited an exhibition in CosmoCaixa Elche when she was expelled from it for breastfeeding her baby. She shared the story on her Facebook profile and has given us permission to spread it also through Babies and more.
"Last Tuesday, October 10, 2017 I was spending a few days on vacation in Elche (Alicante) and I attended an exhibition called “Illusionism, Magic or Science?” by CosmoCaixa, from which I was expelled for breastfeeding my baby.
I tell the facts as they happened:
At around 6:30 p.m. I entered the tent of the exhibition with my 6-year-old son, a friend of his and my 13-month-old baby. The explanation of the person in charge of guiding the exhibition had already begun and we lagged behind listening to the explanations. When the explanation of the first area was finished, we went to the next room. At that moment, my baby showed his interest in getting out of the stroller and after removing him from it, the stroller overturned. When I reached down to pick it up, my baby (who was in arms) was hit in the face (next to the eye) with a black metal bar that was on the side of the room that was dark (which did not It was visible or signposted.) This bar was a dangerous element negligently placed in a place without lighting. After the blow and due to the pain my baby began to cry. I took him in my arms and put him to his chest to calm his pain and crying and went out to the hall of the tent (where the security guard was), so as not to disturb the rest of the attendees, until his tears died down and at that moment I went back inside where my oldest son and his friend were.
I stayed behind the group of people who remained attentive to the guide of the exhibition. My baby continued to suck. After a few minutes, the exhibition guide addressed me from his position (a couple of meters away) and loudly snapped at me: "Madam, you can't be here, you have to go". Before this phrase, I asked her why and she answered me because I could not breastfeed in the exhibition. I asked him again why and he said: "because you can't." I asked her again why and she told me: "Because they are the norms".
In a last attempt to understand what the problem was and who could bother me to breastfeed my baby in a dark room and in the last row, I asked her again what the problem was and she replied: “because here you can not eat". All this happened in the context of a conversation devoid of intimacy and empathy. I felt humiliated and despised. I felt very alone. No one, none of the adults present there seemed surprised by what was happening. No one helped us or came out in our defense.
At that moment I decided to leave the exhibition. After leaving the tent and before the stunned look of my eldest son and his friend, who at no time understood what was happening and what was the problem that a baby is nursing (they verbalized likewise), I took some time to reflect and went back in. I went to the security guard and told him that I wanted to speak with the head of the exhibition. He asked me about what happened and I explained it to him. And I explained that I was not feeding my baby, but was comforting him because he had hurt himself with a poorly marked element of the exhibition and that it became a danger to my son. I explained that the exhibition guide had thrown me out of it.
The security guard showed his disbelief at my story and explained that the rule of not eating referred to eating food that could dirty the material of the exhibition but was not referring to breastfeeding. He invited me to return to the exhibition, I thanked him immensely (he seemed to be the only adult person with sensitivity there that afternoon. Something that honors and thanks him) but, I think it's easy to understand and I think he also understood , that I was not comfortable with the situation and, not only me, but also the minors who accompanied me.
Never before in life had I been kicked out of a place. Y I could never have imagined that they would kick me out for breastfeeding my baby. No one seemed to show interest in my baby when she started crying, even crying because she was hurt with a dangerous element of the exhibition. And to top it off, I was expelled for breastfeeding to comfort him.
I am a mother who has breastfed her eldest son for 4 and a half years in intimate, private and public, family, professional, leisure and cultural places without anyone ever humiliating, reproaching or embarrassing me for doing something as natural as breastfeeding, either as food or as comfort and love.
I am a woman who has felt discriminated against in her right to access culture, as reflected in the gender equality law. And yes, breastfeeding is part of my woman's biology and physiology, even if that is not understood or respected by another woman or part of society.
I am a Perinatal Psychology professional concerned with the physical, mental and emotional health of babies and mothers, who works with the scientific evidence provided by different organizations such as the World Health Organization and the Spanish Association of Pediatrics that support the importance of breastfeeding and who have also given their support to mothers whenever they have been prevented from breastfeeding in public spaces. Understanding that such impediments pose an unnecessary obstacle for nursing mothers and their young and older babies.
CosmoCaixa, if your rules do not allow breastfeeding in your exhibitions, you are violating the rights of mothers and children They protect breastfeeding.
If your rules do not expressly prohibit breastfeeding a baby in your exhibitions, then you should review the power you give to certain workers to violate the rights of mothers and nursing babies. If CosmoCaixa is Science, I ask you to publicly show your support for breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is pure science.
For my part, say that I felt hurt, unprotected, ashamed and humiliated as a woman and as a mother. It goes without saying, that the evil is done and that if I write this it is to ask that this situation not be repeated again and no other woman and her baby suffer it. "
María José Marín Cano
Hundreds of support samples
After making her story public on social networks, María José has received many responses from women and mothers who have expressed her your unconditional support.
"I don't want to remain silent. I don't want the big fish to eat the little one. I'm finding a tribe of women and mothers willing not to leave me alone in this fight," María José Marín CanoThe response of CosmoCaixa
The first thing the mother did after the events was to send a letter to both CosmoCaixa and La Caixa stating what happened and asking for both an apology and a review of her staff, as well as a commitment to support breastfeeding in all its facilities.
"Outside of that standard apology that circulates in response to comments on their Facebook page and on Twitter, I have not received a formal and written apology"says the mother.
From Babies and more we have contacted CosmoCaixa and they have given us the same response that they have made public on social networks.
In the Entre Madres Twitter profile we can see the answer they have given When asking for explanations about the incident:
They have also responded through a post on Edurne Esteiro Agirrebengoa's Facebook profile.
The damage is already done
In the wake of María José's story, many mothers have told that they themselves have breastfed at different CosmoCaixa locations and that they have never had any problems.
This means that it seems to have been a personal posture of the guide who was at that time in charge of the exposure to whom, either the company did not inform about its rules, or has made the decision to expel it in a personal capacity.
But this is precisely what cannot happen. Let everyone decide on their own moral criteria. I want to believe that there is no need for a law to prevent breastfeeding in public, but seeing what there is, it seems that it is the only defense that nursing mothers and their babies can have.
Why when it happens and comes to light, apologies are requested (more would be missing), but the damage is already done. It is time for restaurants, shops, hotels, shopping centers, cultural centers, airports and other public places Take it seriously, be blunt with your rules and inform your workers properly.
And above all, that discriminate the clear difference between eating food and breastfeeding (It is not the same, gentlemen), so that situations as unpleasant as the one that María José has lived through will be avoided in the future.
