If there is something less sexy than calling it "homework," it is to make it precisely that, a "pending and mandatory" task. Sex, whatever its purpose, must be fun, enjoyable and must unite us as a couple, but ... How to keep the spark when what we are looking for is pregnancy And we have dates and times when we "should" do it?
When we decide to have children, one of the things that we may not fall into, or that we may not know, is that “at first” does not always happen. There are couples who do, who in the first cycle are lucky, they hit the target and also the target is "willing", but statistics tell us that the average in Spain to get pregnant is between 6 months and 1 year.
What happens when that pregnancy does not reach the first? Many couples take it easy and there is no more problem, but for others the thing can be done a little uphill: the desire, impatience, expectations ... make it possible that the subject will take up much of our time and our Energy.
In these cases, sex, which was previously fun, enjoyable and pleasant, becomes an obligation, we instrumentalize it stripping it of its playful and wonderful part. Yes, we want to have a child, but that's not why we're going to sacrifice our sex life, don't you think? Let's see what we can do to find that pregnancy without sacrificing our sexual life.
AdvertisingNote: in this article I refer to couples without reproductive problems, since in those cases the recommendations, although similar, take another aspect.
Let's change the language
This may seem like a trifle, but it is not at all. As I said, call it "homework" Not only is it probably the least erotic thing on earth, but it permeates the sex of a burden it shouldn't have. Yes, you may call it that joke, but the point is that the negative grounds remain.
Let's use language not to "condemn" our desire, but to increase it: look for a code name that only you two know, choose a sign to indicate to the other that "we are looking forward" (a garment hanging on the door, a gesture ...) , etc. So you will also gain in complicity, all advantages.
A schedule ... not very strict
Yes, I know that when we ovulate it is when we ovulate, but pretending to "get" from zero to one hundred in two minutes just because of the fact that it "touches" ... is complicated. Sex needs excitement, and excitement feeds on desire, so we must cultivate it.
Regardless of when it is better to have sex, we will try to maintain a high level of desire, so that shooting it and getting to the excitement is a shorter way. How? Well, for starters, keeping it in mind, that is ... thinking of ... green.
Send us messages, photos, whisper things in our ears to pass next to each other, touch us ... by touching us, without more intention, are some of the things we can do and that will help us to be more "awake" sexually.
If today "touches", because it is "the day", then great, but that's not why you have to pick up the table, put the dishwasher, undress each one automatically and pull ... You can put a little imagination and primacy, true? This also takes us to the next point.
What if we are dating again?
Do you remember what sex was like when you were dating? Before living together, you most likely stayed for dinner, or to go to the movies, or for both, and then ... And it was fine, right?
Something that can make the spark still great there is to keep dating boyfriends: we favor spending time together that is not exclusively focused on the issue of pregnancy, allows us to "flirt", change airs, excite us ... and so one reaches sex eagerly, don't you think?
Have fun alone
As I said before to keep our sexuality healthy we need to get excited, want ... and when we are also looking for pregnancy we need sex not to become an obligation.
To help us with these two goals is masturbation. Yes, as you hear it. Why?
- Because it makes us enjoy and the more one enjoys ... the more he wants to enjoy.
- Because masturbation is sex, and it makes our desire active.
- Because while we are masturbating we are enjoying our sexuality but detached from the "procreate" part, which helps that this association does not crystallize.
- Because it is fun and healthy.
¿Preliminaries? Yes thanks
Actually I am quite against calling them "preliminary" because they are not, they are not "the toll to be paid" to get to "real sex": they are sex, with all its letters. When we look for pregnancy we tend to go straight to penetration, leaving aside everything that is not intercourse (which is what we "need" to achieve our goal), and of course ... sex and pleasure resent.
I can't think of a better reason to spend time as a couple, so spend some time and not "Pimpampum". Nor is it that every meeting has to be a three-hour marathon, nor do we have that time or perhaps that fancy that every day, but at least not, as I said, go straight to intercourse.
R&D in the bedroom ... and outside it
On the suitability of certain postures to conceive rivers of ink (and characters) have been written but we are going to stop obsessing ourselves: research suggests that there is no evidence on its effectiveness on pregnancy.
So not all of our sex has to be through the missionary posture: There are thousands of options, some more exciting, others more fun, others that we will like very much and others that less ... but while we try, we entertain. What do you think?
And as for the Location… Can we really only do it in the bedroom? Change scenario It will provide variety and help us combat the monotony of "the search." Think about what corners of your house you would like to try and tell your partner ... he sure likes the idea.
If you are looking for pregnancy, courage, luck and ... Enjoy it a lot (wink, wink)!
Photos: Pixabay.com
In Babies and more: Do we dream more during pregnancy?
