We have talked about uncomfortable questions that children do to us and today we will talk about what they are going to make us related to the sexuality just as we already did about death.
Sex and reproduction are, without a doubt, another issue that will arouse their curiosity and to which we can feel lost if we want to give them an appropriate response to their age.
Strong words"
The truth is questions about reproduction and sexual intercourse they can come to us, abruptly, with tougher words They may have heard ahead of time or through images that sometimes appear on television at times not suitable.
In addition, the words for them do not have the same negative or explicit connotations and will come and they will not ask us what is sodomy or a fellatio or an orgasm, but they can use rather more direct expressions and that will leave us baffled in the mouth Of our innocent creatures.
I repeat, for them the coarse equivalent to fellatio, sodomy or orgasm is not coarse, do not know what it means or what it means to choose one or the other expression. So if the time comes, we can't get mad at them for saying them.
Teach them to use appropriate words
That does not mean that if we can explain, once we have answered your question (now we will see how to do it) that those expressions should not be used because they are insults and can harm the people who listen to them or those they refer to, putting the examples they can assimilate, just as if they use a curse word.
Children do not wish to harm others if they are not educated by harming them or showing us indifferent to their pain, so they will be empathetic and understand that there are words that harm others. We can ensure that he does not use bad expressions by explaining it with patience, especially if we have laid the foundations, since babies, of mutual trust and actively experienced respect.
If you repeat the word, we must inquire what effect it looks for in us using it as a curse word. If you challenge us, you need us and you have to find out what emotional deprivation is filling by attracting attention even if you get angry.
Uncomfortable questions
Imagine the situation. We arrive at school as a child we are preparing the snack and enters the kitchen, thoughtful. And while we heat the milk or cut the fruit, slowly, it tells us: “Mom, I have to ask you a question ... What is (put here the bad word that comes to mind to refer to sexual preferences or practices)?
Horror. It is no longer that I can give you revenge to see a book of sex education with the child, but that a bomb has fallen on your kitchen. Tranquility. Our son asks a word that he doesn't know about something that, like all human beings, produces interest. Nor is it necessary to explain in detail but to give an answer to your natural curiosity about people's sexuality.
Answer your true questions
We can, then, ask him if he wants us to tell him how they are made and how babies are born, which is, basically, what he is curious about.
It would be advisable introduce the theme of reproduction naturally, since they are small, without telling lies but always with delicacy and giving them the information they can understand. In this way we will plant the seed of a communication with confidence, which will allow the child to ask us things as they are asked, without fear or shame. It is a long road that will culminate in his adolescence, when it will be time for us to see how he can, since we have built trust, come to us with his doubts, fears and problems.
And if he insists?
In some cases there may be an insistent question about the specific word, before that we must not lose our composure. First, give an answer that you can understand without the details you don't need to know. Explain that it is an expression that adults use for an expression of affection when they make love is usually enough.
That is, as in everything that refers to the emotional questions and expressions of our children we must educate ourselves to be able to understand what they really expressing, both in your doubts and in your feelings.
If you insist, I would tell my son that he felt he was small to know exactly what it was and that we first talked about sexuality and love in general terms and when he grew up he would answer everything he told me he needed to know. It was enough for him, in fact, he knew how to tell me what he wanted me to keep explaining and let me know when it was enough. And he used to be very cautious on his own initiative.
Really, Children are curious about sexuality and reproduction, but they also need the information to be appropriate for their age and sensitivity. And that is what is usually hidden behind your awkward questions about sex. We will continue with the awkward questions and I encourage you to tell us anecdotes, and case studies about things that happen to you and also to suggest other types of awkward questions so we can talk about them.
Babies and more | Sex education guide for young children, Pablito and Virginia: cartoons about sex education for children. How do I answer your awkward questions about death?
