When a couple has their first baby they are clear about what they say that babies eat, sleep, and also cry. They know that babies do it, because they have always done it, forever and ever, and they know they have to do something to get them to stop.
The fact that crying is a feature of babies suggests that the response to crying is universal, so if it has been known for so many millennia, the solution will have already been found. However, before a baby who cries, parents can receive several different tips, and that is why today we will explain what to do when the baby cries.
Well let him cry
For several decades, and even now, many grandmothers and grandparents and many expert theorists have recommended letting children who are crying cry. It's not that it is recommended that children cry, it's that it is recommended that they are not caught in their arms so they do not get used And of course, the moment when every father wants to catch them is when they cry, to calm them down. As they cannot be held in their arms because, they say, they do not know how to be alone, they become dependent and you have to carry them in their arms until they do not know how old, the children end up crying for a long time until finally tired of crying They shut up and fall asleep.
However, and although it is still said, It is not recommended. It is not healthy for a child and less if it is a baby, walk crying because your parents do not want to catch you because someone has told them that it is not good. It does not help to widen the lungs, it does not make them more independent (if they end up learning to not complain, because if they cry so much they do not receive what they ask for, why spend so much energy), it does not make them later stronger psychologically Talking or preparing them for any future. It doesn't even make them not get used to the arms, because in need of arms come standard.
Or cry, or see how it communicates
Crying has a very clear function: let parents know that something is wrong. It is his way of saying that they are hungry, that they are sleepy, that they are cold or hot, that they are overwhelmed or that they need affection and affection. The only way to express all this is through crying, and all these are more or less annoying things for the child, basic needs, which we have to solve so that they are comfortable again.
It is not something rational, the baby is not thinking "I am cold, I will cry to be covered", he just feels cold, notice that it is unpleasant and cries. They are not thoughts, they are sensations, just like hunger, which makes you very uncomfortable and therefore cries. And the crying is sharp and unpleasant, rhythmic and annoying, so that parents bother us enough to find out what to do to stop crying.
Should parents know why they cry?
There are technological gadgets that tell us why the baby cries, mobile applications with the same function, up to long chapters of books that tell us what crying is like according to what they need at all times. Everyone who looks for the information he needs most and makes him feel calmer, but I as a father have never bothered to know why he cries, but simply to get him to stop, and curiously his arms and chest (and not because of This order, but I don't have a breast) has always been a great solution.
Of start, most crying will be due to hunger or something that sucks chest calm (cold or need for affection). So the most logical thing, when a baby cries, is to offer the breast (as they say, on demand). If he takes it and is sucking it was that, hunger. If you breastfeed for a little while and stay calm in mom's arms, you may be hungry, but you also need to be with mom to feel safe, or cold and in arms you are warm.
If instead it sucks a little while and then continues crying we should think that the cause of the crying may be another (it could also be hunger and that there is a problem when breastfeeding, such as a bad grip, and that the child is not eating enough, but let's start from the basis that the child gets fat in a normal way). Then we must assess that you have a clean diaper (although they say that babies do not cry for having poop in the diaper), that it is at a pleasant temperature, neither cold nor hot and that what you need is to sleep.
I would say that, after hunger, the second most frequent reason is sleep and the need to feel safe, safe, in arms.
So, can I get you in my arms?
Of course, as many times as you want. In fact, if you want, you can even keep it in your arms. When a baby is always in arms, or close to mom caught with a scarf or scarf, like African or like mothers who do the Mother Kangaroo method, they have much less reason to cry and hardly complain more than to eat and little else .
The issue is that, just like other adults we love, we can give as many hugs and kisses as they ask us, to children we can also give them as many arms and kisses as they need. In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends it:
During the first months, respond promptly to your child's crying. It is not possible to spoil a small baby by paying attention.
And it is a pity that we have to explain it in words, that something as instinctive as having a crying baby must be rational, but as someone managed to convince everyone that we should fight against the instincts, arguing that this was negative, Now we must explain the opposite, that the instinct of protection, which makes us run to catch our crying baby, is correct.
So if a baby cries and doesn't want to eat, we can (we should) catch him in our arms and rock it, sing it, talk to it, wrap it in a blanket so that it feels safe, if necessary, walk it, caress it, kiss it, ... with this the vast majority of children will calm down. Only a few will continue to cry, and then it will be necessary to look at whether they may have any physical problems, such as hair or hair tourniquet syndrome or assess the possibility of needing to be alone. My children have never asked me, but there are parents who report that their children calm down before when they are alone than when they are hugged, taken and accompanied.
Those cries of the evening and the night
It is said that when children cry in the afternoons, at about six o'clock and beyond for a while, a cry that cannot be calmed down with the chest, with the arms, or with music, or with white noise, or with nothing, is because they have colic, ie bellyache. I do not say that it is a lie, because until the time comes for babies to speak and say "God, what a tummy ache", nobody can say that it is not true or that it is, but for me it does not make much sense to be abdominal pain if then at night, or in the morning, do not complain about it. Because I say that if a baby hurts the gut because it is immature it will also hurt at other times, right?
The other explanation is that of "I have arrived here", which I like best. Babies are no longer in the belly, they are out, living new sensations in the form of smells, lights, shadows, noises, unknown arms, new voices, sleep times and waking times, new tactile sensations, etc. All this can cause that in the afternoon, when they have lived many of these things for several hours, their small and immature brains become saturated and say "until here", and download all that overwhelming crying.
I may also be wrong, but it seems to me a more plausible explanation because when mothers and fathers are told to try to prevent that moment, bypassing the stroller (where children can feel alone and uneasy, even when they don't cry), trying that the baby does not go from arms to arms (there will be time for family and friends to catch him, and also, did not everyone say that it is bad to take it?), avoiding unnecessary noise, etc., it seems that babies are calmer and in the afternoon they cry less.
In any case, whatever the cause, and let's call it what we call it, because now it is no longer called colic but uncontrollable crying baby, every father and mother should know that sooner or later it will stop happening. The baby will stop doing those crying episodes and the reason will be that he has matured, that his brain or his stomach and intestine have matured and that he no longer bothers or is more able to adapt to the environment in which he lives.
What if I can't stand crying so much?
Sometimes it happens, there are parents with very little patience who can not stand for their child to cry and cry, and even less when they see that they do everything possible to calm them and they do not get it. If you get to the point that you are about to lose your mind, leave the baby with someone else. When we do not support it more, our rational part is blocked and the automatic mode, also called, comes into operation. reptile brain, which activates the escape and fight mode.
We do not run away, because we cannot run away, because we continue with our baby in our arms, but we do prepare for the fight. The heart accelerates, adrenaline is secreted, the body tenses and only wants to discharge the sudden increase in energy fighting against what bothers us. We are not going to fight with the baby, but yes we run the risk of shaking it or shaking it while yelling at it to shut up at once. This is very dangerous, because the force with which we can shake a baby is so great that we can cause serious brain damage.
Therefore, as I say, if we feel that this moment is about to arrive, or we give the baby to someone or, if we are alone, we leave it alone in a safe place and we move away from him. It is better to cry alone while we shout at the sun that not by not letting go we put your life in danger.
And if this happens later, during the day, in the moments when we are calm with the baby, we try to share time together, time of tranquility, understanding and affection, to establish links with him, to meet him in good times, to Try to rationalize those moments when we lose patience and understand why they cry. When we are clear that they do it because they suffer, and not to annoy and when we are clear that what they ask for is help, it is easier to share those hard hours with them. And above all, we must know, as I said, that time passes.
Photos | Jon Collier, Pedro Klien, Tatiana Vdb on Flickr On Babies and more | Excessive crying in childhood could lead to behavioral problems. What physical effects does crying have on babies? Why do children calm down when you take them in their arms?
