We often meet people we know, but our children don't. Then it may happen that when you see the aunt, grandmother, cousin or friend, you give them two kisses, as is done here to greet someone who has not seen for a long time or just met and falls into temptation to urge your son or daughter to give a kiss too to that person they don't know.
But what are kisses? The SAR says that kissing is the action of "Touching or pressing with a movement of lips, on impulse of love or desire or as a sign of friendship or reverence", which is a definition that must be very close to what children feel that kisses are: a show of affection. Therefore children have to be able to choose who to kiss and who doesn't.
Sign of love or friendship
I, like every father and mother, give many kisses to my children, but I give them to them. I never ask them to give me a kiss and maybe that's why they give me few, but I know that the day they hug me and They kiss me, they give it to me because they feel it, because they want, because they care or are grateful for something.
However, these kisses of love and friendship are added to those of "looking good", those that we give for commitment in an act that I personally do not quite understand, because in reality you do not even give two kisses, you bump your cheeks while you do The noise of kissing with the mouth. And if someone does it well and you plant the two kisses, one on each cheek, then you feel that it has been overreached (if you just met her) or you feel even a little repulsed, depending on who you are. If it's your precious grandmother, to say something, give you what you want and how you want.
In Babies and more Kisses and hugs: why don't I force my daughter to give them if she doesn't want toBut going back to the children, I think that when a father or a mother tells her daughter "come, Laura, give Aunt Loli a kiss" she is making a mistake. First because Laura has to be free to kiss whoever she wants and second because you are asking your daughter to show a love that doesn't really feel, just to look good.
Kisses are not asked, they are given away
I talked about it five years ago. Kisses are not asked, they are given away. They must feel, they must be loaded with emotion and that is why we adults give them only to who we want and when we want.
Now you will tell me that "already, but when you meet someone you give him two kisses", and I will say "exact, two kisses". Two kisses that carry no emotional charge, two kisses that we give to women, but not to men, to whom we shake hands. And I do not shake hands with an uncle as saying that I care for him, but as a gesture of socially allowed contact that in a way transforms us from strangers to acquaintances.
In Babies and more, kisses are not requested, they are given awayBut a child is not asked for two kisses. Nobody tells a three-year-old boy to give Uncle Juan two kisses, or two kisses to Paqui, the carnicera of the people of a lifetime. The child is asked to I kissed him. A single kiss, that we only give for love or love. Or is it that when you have just met someone you give only one kiss? Because two don't want to say much, but one does, a kiss is a "MUA! Take a kiss I wanted to give you."
So we are really asking the children for a gesture of affection they don't feel. They probably don't have any problem, but it doesn't make much sense to match our kisses, or their kisses to us, full of feeling and meaning, with empty kisses that we give them so that the other person thinks or feels they have an affection for them. nonexistent.
Do you want my children to kiss you? You will have to earn them and they will give them to you, only if they want.
