When we begin to form our own family by joining with a partner and start having children, surely we all expect or think that we will always be together. But sometimes things don't turn out that way and those relationships end in a separation or divorce.
As a woman and mother who has been through this experience, today I want to dedicate some words of support for divorced mothers, so they know they are not alone and things will get better.
Letter of support to a divorced mother
There are several reasons why a couple decides to separate, and although I do not know yours, if you are reading these lines it is because you have probably been through it recently or are considering that possibility.
When a divorce or separation occurs and there are children involved, sometimes we fall into a series of dilemmas, questions and conflicts that make this process even more difficult. It is common to try to find guilty or feel that we have failed, but we must try to avoid it.
I experienced this whole process a year ago, when I made the decision to separate and subsequently divorce. If you think there is still hope to recover your relationship, make it possible: go to therapy, better your communication, be a team and fight to get ahead.
But if the break is already final, then I have some words to share. Of course, all this I say it and share because of my experience, so my words are directed towards a mother, but they could also serve a father as well.
In Babies and more My experience as a divorced mom and the challenges I had to face after separationThe first thing I want to tell you is: it won't be easy at first. Actually, it will probably be the most difficult and complicated stage. And it is that having children, the process of a separation or divorce is even heavier, painful and complicated. But it won't always be like that and things will eventually improve.
At first It is very normal to experience some negative feelings like guilt or disappointment, because being mothers, we are responsible for our children to have a full and happy life, and by going through something like that, we can feel that we have failed them.
My main thought during the first days and what made me lengthen and avoid the moment of final separation, was to blame. I felt that choosing to end a relationship in which I was not happy was selfish, because somehow I would deny my daughter he grow up and live day by day with his father.
But if motherhood has taught me something over the years, it is that for the children to be well, we must first be. So I finally understood that the right thing was to do what allowed us all to be better. And in our case, it was a divorce.
The second thing I want to tell you, and that you probably already realized or suppose, is that things will feel heavier, both emotionally and physically. This is not necessarily a bad thing, it is simply a reality, because responsibility will no longer be shared with another person.
It is true that even the upbringing will be of the two, because the separation is only between the couple, but if the custody is yours, the work will increase. I admit that sometimes I wish I could divide the responsibility with someone equally, but the extra energy that I invest, is compensated with the peace and tranquility that I now have.
In Babies and more We divorce: how and when do we tell children according to their ageOne tip that I would like to give you just about this point is that surround yourself as much as you can with people who help you. And with help I do not mean only that they support you taking care of your children when you need to do something, but that you have an emotional support group or circle, with whom you can freely vent to avoid doing so in front of your children.
That said, I would like you to remember three phrases or key points like divorced mom: you're not alone, it's not your fault and you're not a bad mother for not being able to do everything. Being alone can be difficult and make motherhood even more exhausting, but always try to work on yourself, so that you are happy and so your children are too.
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